Greek Heroes March 25, 2007

I made my first visit to a huge IMAX cinema yesterday to see 300, a movie depicting a small crew of hard-as-nails Spartans defending their lands from the Persian hordes. I found the story quite dull and predictable but the effects were excellent. The IMAX meant nothing other than straining my neck to see the screen properly though. I also got to see Audition on DVD, a freaky Japanese film about a middle aged guy who’s looking for the ideal woman and gets a little more than he hopes for. Think: Fatal Attraction meets Hostel.

Some colleagues and I went to a restaurant nearby on Haight Street called Cha Cha Cha. It serves spicy tapas and was pretty nice. Otherwise I had a fairly unexciting week of work, dealing with admin and being really ill for a couple of days with some kind of stomach flu. And just when things reached a low point, I found that the cat had repaid my affections by taking a wizz on my winter jacket.

I found two really impressive shops – first of all, Lombardi Sports which stocks a huge array of sports gear including some top cycling gear. I’m considering doing some riding here so I might be making a second visit… I also spent about half an hour in Amoeba Music on Haight Street which has an absolutely vast stock of music (including vinyl and even cassettes!). Delightful and dangerous.

On Friday night last week, rather than having a nice night in or a better night drinking, I spent six hours at Adobe, attending a pizza-powered workshop on their upcoming web development product codenamed Apollo. This is not (yet) a technical blog so I won’t drone on about the details, but it’s exciting and ambitious. Within the next year you’re going to be seeing some major players like eBay spicing up their web sites with this.

Urban Chess March 13, 2007

Driving and parking around here is like a giant game of chess. There are strict rules, it’s a constant battle and although you might win skirmishes, one day you’re probably going to lose and end up paying dearly. You might want to move like a Knight by jumping forward two then turning left, that’s fine. Just don’t try turning left on a Monday to Friday between 4 and 7PM. And under no circumstances leave your pawn parked outside at 6AM on a Wednesday or you’re sure to interfere with the military style street cleaning operations and get towed in a surgical fashion that Magdi Yacoub would find inspiring.

You roll up to buy gas and pay with your card. You would think that this requires you to enter your PIN on a keypad. Not so fast, hombre! Instead of using the “industry standard” PIN, somebody has had the ingenious idea of requiring you to enter your ZIP (post) code instead. Apparently it’s for security but I’m really struggling to understand how a ZIP code could be more secure than a PIN. Perhaps their statistics on fraud indicate that this method really works, but my logic says otherwise. If somebody steals your wallet, they will probably end up not only with your card but your driving license along with it. What features on your license? That’s right Einstein, your address! How hard is it to lookup a ZIP code using an address? About as hard as finding snow in Siberia. But do most people ever write their PIN down? No. Perhaps I’m going mad…

I took a sunny drive east across Bay Bridge towards Oakland. My mission: to go where no man has gone before and find some new furniture for my semi-naked bedroom. With a pickup this size, it was far too boring to order online and ask for delivery. So in true DIY fashion I headed to Ikea in Emeryville to find it myself. After a quick unplanned detour to Alameda (where they keep zeh nuklearr wessels…sorry, sad Star Trek in-joke) I found the huge Ikea store and the perfect table and chair combo.

Coming back though, what a nightmare. To get in to the city over the Bay or Golden Gate bridges you have to pay a $4 toll, either cash or using a dashboard widget. On a sunny Saturday this means huuuge tailbacks. The Bay bridge is far longer and more impressive in the very dullest of ways than the Golden Gate. Half way across it turns in to a tunnel through Yerba Buena (good grass) island. People actually pay hard cash to live on this no-man’s land. The days of Bay Bridge are numbered though, for an obvious reason – you wouldn’t want to be driving across the current one during a heavy quake… A substantial chunk of the replacement bridge is already sitting in place.

Sunday was gorgeous so I took a long walk all the way across Golden Gate park to Ocean Beach. It’s a long, spectacular strip of golden sand with some impressive craggy cliffs at the north end. It’s also only two miles from my house, which still hasn’t really sunk in. The waves were definitely surfer dude territory, only I heard no cries of “dude” or “woah” and saw nobody acting remotely territorial whilst wielding a pot of board wax. I can only assume that better surf is to be found nearby.

In the park itself there was a real “urban” thing going on. A Brit will struggle to understand this so I will attempt to describe the recipe for San Francisco Urban. Take one pair of rollerblades. Apply a long double-dutch style skipping rope. Add two shakes of cheesey dance music, preferrably at about 110 decibels. Dress lightly in colourful clothes and then dance on the blades, within the confines of the spinning rope, whilst wiggling to the beat. In strong sunlight. For three hours. Get the idea?

Wheels of Misfortune March 7, 2007

There’s a hipster trend in the city for fixed-wheel bikes, the type where you can’t stop pedaling and freewheel, so you can brake by using your leg muscles. In London these are often used by couriers who demand a fast, light, simple bike that won’t break and won’t get stolen. It also makes sense there – the streets are flat and fast and there’s a UK law that means you always have to have a secondary brake fitted too. Not so in San Francisco. You will see fixed-wheel bikes regularly, with no secondary brake….in a city with lots of hills, hills sometimes so steep that it’s great workout just walking up them! Even Charles Bronson wouldn’t have done this. Granted, I only see these freaks in the flatter parts of town and admittedly I do think they’re very cool…erm, I mean hip.

My own personal transport has taken a turn towards the Dark Side though as I’ve rented a beast of a pick-up truck.

Parking this monster in the dark is like trying to spar against a midget with your eyes closed – a little bit dangerous but you know if you hit something you’ll probably be alright. My friends cursed when I revealed that I’d left it in 2-wheel drive mode, apparently I’m not being American enough. It’s good fun but quite how people survive with the model that’s a size or two up from this one is beyond me.

Last night we went to Hooters, just to see what it was like. The only time I’ve ever seen it is the dead henchman scene in Austin Powers. For those who don’t know what it is, it’s a fast food restaurant that serves beer and all the waitresses show off their…hooters…by wearing the tightest clothes in the universe. The part where they make men stand on chairs, stuff fake boobs up their jersies and dance is a hoot (sorry) and no I did not do this myself. Instead of ringing a bell to call last orders all the waitresses call out a chant just like cheerleaders at a football game. The food is a greasy average and the whole place is so tacky they are proud of it. It’s the closest you can come to Las Vegas without actually going there.

Tie-Dye Tai Chi March 5, 2007

I’ve been busy settling in to my new flat and getting to know my housemate and some of his friends who are a good laugh. They took me to a bona-fide British pub run by an ex-pat from London – the Pig and Whistle. It was so nice to order a pint of Old Speckled Hen and we then proceeded to win their weekly pub quiz which consisted of a tough blend of questions on American and British culture and celebrity dog breeds.

I went for a walk down Haight Street to find the Haight-Ashbury intersection that was once the epicentre of hippie culture during the summer of love, 1967. To this day it retains a lot of its hippie character, there are all kinds of oddly dressed people and very colourful shops selling clothes, trinkets, food, music and probably one or two psychotropic substances too. It reminds me a little of Kings Road or Camden in London.

Being able to step out of my front door, cross the road and be in Golden Gate park is brilliant. The dogs need walking and it’s perfect for running in. To be honest I feel pretty lucky to be in this spot. Right across the street on the first verge of the park’s lawns there’s usually a small encampment of homeless people. Sometimes they have little “parties” there and get moved on by the police as technically they aren’t allowed to live there. Deeper in the park, it’s easy to find more homeless who have quite literally pitched tent in the trees. You’ll also find troops of 30+ oriental people performing co-ordinated Tai Chi at 8AM on a Sunday morning. Try finding that in any British park!

A few days ago in my hotel I was doing some work and the room suddenly shook for a few seconds with an unmistakable rumble. It felt somewhat stronger than the 4.8 I felt back in 2002 even though this one was smaller in magnitude, the epicenter was only about 20 miles away (and 10 miles underground!).

One of David’s friends told me about an American right-wing political commentator called Ann Coulter so I paid a visit to her web site to see what all the fuss was about. I was pretty shocked to discover her viewpoint on global warming. She puts an extreme satirical spin on this critical global issue, attempting to turn it to a political campaign against anyone who isn’t a right-winger. She draws a comparison between environmentalists like Rachel Carson with Adolf Hitler. Combining her extreme viewpoints with her persuasive skills as a lawyer is clearly turning in a very tidy sum on the lecturing circuit!

No Place Like Home March 2, 2007

I moved in to my new place today. It smells of dog and just a little cat. My new housemate, David, is stressed out as the previous occupant is an alcoholic on medication who seems to have taken little responsibility for moving out, so right now he’s trying to sort her out. The dogs have just found my suitcase and toiletries littering the floor so they’re doing the doggie sniff-strech-explore thing. I’ve uploaded and tagged some pictures if you’re curious.

I also popped to a nearby bank and opened an account. There’s no chip’n’pin services for buying here but the account has an ATM card and net access. It felt a bit odd explaining chip’n’pin and direct debits to Edward, the assistant bank manager of my local Wells Fargo, he was extremely helpful though.

Those Little Differences March 1, 2007

It’s the little things that make a difference. Like when you order a coffee in a coffee shop, they ask for your name. My what? All I want is a coffee! No coffee shop I visited back home ever did that. I asked why and was told it helps prevent people from picking up the wrong coffee. I guess mistakes occur. Or when you’re buying lunch and the cashier smiles at you and says “paper or plastic”? My internal alarm starts ringing…paper or plastic what?! Oh plastic! She means my credit card, duh. So the $10 note I’m already holding out is raised a little higher so she can see it which only prompts a confused look. She means paper or plastic bag, stupid!

Then there’s the bus tickets. You pay $1.50 to go anywhere on the city buses, but don’t throw away your ticket because they’re valid for 2-3 hours, anywhere, any number of times. Awesome.

The TV and radio commercials for drugs (including non-prescription I think) can be 30-40 seconds long but at least half of the length is taken up with the voice-over man listing all the side effects and warnings about how and when not to use it. Customers could be asked to read the label like everywhere else…. The weirdest radio commercial so far has to be the one requesting volunteers for a medical study that’s investigating hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD). And it’s on several times a day! I’d never even heard of it before.